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Had two frustrating experiences this week in a group with noise

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One was a lunch meeting with conversation. Someone I know said “You don’t hear me some of the time”. I explained that I don’t hear well with lots of noise but can hear in a quiet environment. She then repeated the same statement.
Later this week, I attended a party where we sat a large round table. I was talking to peole on either side of me. At some point the friend on my right side asked me if I am seeing my audioligist. I said yes, I have a good one. Then she laughed and said you don’t always hear me. You were turned away from me and I said something and you didn’t hear me at all. She laughed like it was funny to her. I then said, I have directional microphones on my hearing aid and hear best when we face each other. I also told her that hearing aids are not like glasses for the eyes that can give you 20/20 vision, they don’t work really well in noisy environments. Is there anything else I can say to people to help them understand? It was a bit frustrating.

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Happens to me every day. I’m sorry it happened to you.

Hopefully networking we can have improvement.

DaveL
Toronto.

I read a wonderful book that helped. A little.

“Hear&Beyond”

I totally get your frustration. I find it quite strange that in 2025, people still don’t understand hearing disabilities. I have found myself educating young people at my client locations, airport staff and even some family members.

In fact many police departments are woefully behind the curve training their officers on how to handle hard of hearing / deaf…just look up anything on YouTube regarding police misconduct regarding this. Its scary, for sure. Keep the faith and keep educating!

Unfortunately, having any disability is considered a weakness instead of a disability. It’s a function of the self improvement, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, Protestant ethic that we have in this country started by the Puritan ethic. Of course we don’t like spending public money on the disabled and would rather shunt them away where we don’t have to be reminded of their existence. It’s sad that Medicare won’t pay for hearing aids nor dental care. The government wants to keep the elderly deaf and toothless.

People don’t get it. My wife didn’t even get it until my audiologist sat her down during an appointment to tune up my new Spheres (I’ve been wearing for twenty years) and played a demo for her on the terminal of what I hear without HAs compared to what a normal hearing person. Train whistle in a car? Nothing…

I’ve had people tell me “Can’t you just turn them up?” The most frustrating thing is when you tell people that you have a hearing impairment, and they just rattle off what they just said exactly the same as they did before and look at you like your stupid when you ask them to repeat it a third time.

My wife and I finally took our trip to Alaska.
Incredible.
While on the ship a gentlemen got into the elevator with us.
He had a very interesting hat.
The hat read,
Yes Really
Hard Of Hearing.
Yes he did have hearing aids.
Oh and for all you you Vancouver people.
Absolutely gorgeous place.

I really don’t think people should be discussing your hearing aids or level of hearing. That’s not for them to downgrade you on that. I’m sorry that happened to you.

You have your new so-called ears, however, they certainly don’t replace the ears you had when you were a younger person.

Do the best you can and call BS to those who either ridicule or don’t understand. I wish you the best!

Thanks to all of you for your comments. I have learned something from each of you and appreciate it. I think I will need to start being more direct with people who comment on my lack of hearing ability. The type of education I have been doing does not seem to be getting through. And the audiologist who played a recording of what your hearing actually sounds like to your spouse - that is amazing.

In reply to @Flyboybob

I’m beginning to think that you are right. I’m 92 and I do not know ANYONE who understands our hearing disability. I’ve given up trying to explain. Perhaps that is the aim of our gov.

I am glad to know that I am not alone in explaining the hearing loss. I am sorry this happened to you. I am fortunate that I am in a school that supports diversity and people with disabilities. As a special educator and school psych, I try proactive measures to educate others about hearing health (video games, music, loud noises, etc.) and hearing impairments. Here is a link to promote understanding of what hearing impairment can be like for those who work, socialize, and even family members with you. Understanding hearing loss | ReSound US9

A funny story that really convinced my colleagues, involved a weeklong stay in a cabin for a professional development. Unbeknowest to me, the next door group partied all night long, and I woke up refreshed. Not my colleagues. They realized that I didn’t hear the loud raucous behaviors into the wee hours. They understood. And respected me.

A funny story? Neighbours had sold their house. Were moving in two weeks. Single mother went away for a week. Two daughters were gang members. They had a party. 5 cop cars arrived. I slept through it all

If they hadn’t moved I would have.

@montieth

For me, I only “educate” people one time (nicely, of course). I am of the school of thought that I can “I can explain something, but I can’t understand it FOR them.”

Years ago, I was embarrassed about wearing hearing aids. Nowadays that I have these (rather large) Phonak Spheres - I could care less. My only regret now is I didn’t get them in bright red or green instead of black! :rofl:

I wasn’t offered any interesting colors. I chose black over beige or silver.

WH

@montieth said:

I also told her that hearing aids are not like glasses for the eyes that can give you 20/20 vision, they don’t work really well in noisy environments. Is there anything else I can say to people to help them understand? It was a bit frustrating.

One man said to me a few weeks ago, in the pub: “What’s the point of having them if you can’t hear what I’m saying?” I used the glasses analogy, but also said hearing aids are a bit like “a walking frame”. They help me but, are only really an assistant.

I participated in a focus group there for disabilities. At the end they refused to accept my comments. Wellness. Equity. Bah humbug

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve met such ignorance. When I was still working, I was a Speech & Language Therapist and used to see quite a few children with glue ear and mild to moderate hearing loss. I used to give “homework” to the children after each session and then to the parents I would say “I would like you to try putting some cotton wool in your ears and go about your day” they came back the following week with a new perspective on their child’s situation. If anyone ever shows even a hint of being open to trying this, you might like to suggest it.

I can think of at least one or two forms of universal hand signs to let unsympathetic people know what you’re thinking. (A finger to the lips in a “shush” is one.)

There was a fire in a building near ours one late evening, and I was shocked to look out the next morning and see the damage… I’d taken my hearing aids out and closed the drapes before that happened, and hadn’t heard any of the sirens or noise!

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