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Being a Parent with Hearing Loss

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My questions are to those with children, but others are very welcome to share their thoughts, too.

Has anyone lost their hearing before becoming a parent? What did you consider before making such a critical decision (having a child)? How did you make sure you could hear your child when they cry or in are a critical situation, etc?

Has anyone ever thought of not becoming a parent because of their hearing loss?

Thank you!

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I had a severe hearing loss (but not deaf) when we had our first child. I didn’t think about not having children because of my hearing but I didn’t really do much thinking to be honest. Got carried away with my wife’s enthusiasm I guess…

I don’t think it affected my ability to parent in the early years. You have to have very bad hearing not to be woken up by your child’s crying when they are in the same room as you. I was naturally attentive to where they were and what they were doing. You really want to have eyes on them when they are little, good hearing or not.

It’s affecting me now a little. My son’s breaking voice is hard to follow. They love me and are mostly patient. Better to be a hard of hearing parent than a violent one, a self-absorbed one, an absent one… Love does overcome.

Being deaf has it’s blessings, when bringing up kids @Zeeza, I recall vividly our lot, aged around 2, 5, & 8 years old, taking them out in the car, all belted up in the back seat of the car, my wife would be working, she earned more money than I could, so I was the designated carer/house husband… Anyway, this would be the prelude to all 3 fighting through one and other, I would look round and tell them, “Keep it down to a riot”!!! Then proceed to switch off my hearing aids, then we were off, totally oblivious to those 3 killing each other in the back :rofl: :upside_down_face: :innocent: Total bliss… And probably the only peace I would get all day. Cheers Kev :wink:

@d_Wooluf and @kevels55, thanks for sharing your experiences as parents!

I wrote about my opinion, as well as experince as an auntie, here. It is different from yours, but in the end I’m not a parent! :))

Decision Not to Be a Mother5

I feel bad in every situation when my hearing causes trouble for others... Putting people I love in danger simply because I don’t hear.

Having read your blog, I feel for your plight @Zeeza… In child caring, because of your hearing loss, your eyes indeed become your ears, you do need to be more vigilant, maybe slightly more than normal hearing folks, but it isn’t impossible, nor is it healthy, to let your imagination go wild on every conceivable pitfall in bringing up children, kids are pretty resourceful, they are aware of imminent dangers once they reach a certain age, we coach these dangers into them, things to avoid, it’s only when they are toddlers, pre school kids, that you have to be slightly more vigilant, but there is normally 2 parents guiding them, it’s a partnership, with joint responsibility! Lone parenting isn’t impossible either, it’s just a lot more difficult! Lastly, someone once said “In this World…There is only one thing more difficult than bringing up children, it’s bringing up someone else’s children”, if I can do that very successfully with severe/profound hearing loss, in conjunction with MD (Meniers Disease) than mostly anyone can, it’s just a question of prioritising your duties in said partner, and yourself, you adapt as you go along, and yes you’ll both make mistakes, but that’s what life is about, you make a mistake, you correct it, you move on…Best wishes to you Zeeza, take care, cheers Kev :wink:

Hi @Zeeza

I think my mother’s first language was the same as your first language. That gives us a connection in my mind. I had a conversation with a dear friend recently who was wondering whether she would have made a good mother if the cards had fallen that way. I thought she would have been a caring but very anxious one. Maybe the same applies to you. If you do have children I am sure you will find ways to keep them safe, maybe with the support of the person you choose to have children with. By the way, drowning people make no sound.

We all have regrets in life. What I wish for you is that you can turn your attention away from regret and towards the good things that life has to offer. The love of your family, the beauty of the country in which you live, whatever positive experiences that may come your way.

All the best to you.

Yes, she did. Arabic, some French, then English. She came from the town of Beshmezzine in the Koura Valley, Lebanon. I think her family saw Egypt as the cultural heartland. My uncle used to play Om Kalthoum (spelling?) records. Drove us children out of the house. We didn’t have the cultural reference for it. My father didn’t speak Arabic, so it wasn’t spoken at home and I didn’t learn it.

Oh, yes! I know some but not nearly enough. I still have an aunt who might be able to help out with recipes. There were seven siblings in the family and they were married to people of 6 different nationalities. Italian, Russian, German, English, Hungarian and… Egyptian. We ate quite well. :slight_smile: One thing I learnt is that most things taste better if you sprinkle zaatar over it.

I was born with hearing loss and I never considered not having a child. I have 2 young children (who are hearing). Some of the things that have been helpful are using different kinds of assistive technology, like baby cry monitors (I like the Bellman & Symfon devices). My husband is hearing and he will also hear them if we're asleep. Having a supportive partner is really helpful, because we can problem solve and figure out some solutions together, if something isn't quite working out well.

In reply to @Zeeza

My dear Zeeza I'm young man who went through a lot shit growing up as a disabled hearing person or hard of hearing, and i can relate to a lot of stuff you are writing.

Regarding your question of not becoming a parent because of our hearing loss i could say that is true i wont be one; any other person of my family thinks I'm crazy for now wanting a family due to my disability but is really painful living with this so i totally understand your position because society wasn't build for us and i completely understand the other point of view too is not their fault either, is the card we got deal my dear and we have to try to live it with some kind of normalcy within our capabilities.

i send u a big hug whenever you are from the middle of the world.

I have congenital severe profound loss in L ear. When my children were young my R ear was moderate loss. I struggled hearing my children, so I taught them from a very young age to tap me on the arm when they wanted to talk to me. So could stop what I was doing and look at them. Then I could hear what was being said. Sure it was inconvenient at times but for me it was the perfect way to hear what they wanted.

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