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What to do about a condescending audiologist

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Edited

I had a routine annual hearing exam yesterday and all went as expected. I have normal hearing through approximately 1000 Hz and a sloping moderately severe loss past that, and the audiologist knew about this beforehand. My word recognition scores are always very high.

However, throughout the appointment, she enunciated words to an extreme degree, spoke at an extremely loud volume, and wouldn’t speak at all when she had a mask on while checking various things. She would just give me a thumbs up to indicate all was good. Nothing occurred between us (i.e. me asking for repetition) that would indicate I needed such communication strategies to understand her.

These communication strategies that would be appropriate for someone with profound deafness left me feeling humiliated and depressed.

I think this is because such communication strategies assume that I have a much bigger hearing deficit than I actually do, so she effectively treated me as being less capable. It would be like treating someone wearing glasses as if they were blind.

If you’re a patient, what would you do about this? It feels embarrassing to put someone on the spot about this (“Hey, talk normally to me!”), and I would like to think she would not want me feeling insulted. I can’t help but feel insulted at such treatment though.

If you’re an audiologist, what do you think about my feelings and experience? I would think it would be a best practice to assume nothing about necessary accommodations and only accommodate when it’s obvious that an accommodation is needed. She’s somewhat young, so maybe this is just a mistake due to relatively few years in the field.

It’s a group practice, so I can easily request to see someone else next time (I’m about to buy new hearing aids), but that feels like running away from a problem which isn’t really a healthy way to go through life.

23 people in this conversation17 min readJump to latest

I go through that every year but I do not take I personally. I am not ashamed or embarrassed that I have hearing troubles. Also when I am with my audiologist or doctor I definitely feel that I am with people who understand my hearing difficulty and are helping me with it, not looking down at me.

I’ve never had an speak to me like this. Even when I have asked them “I’m sorry could you repeat that”. All my AuD’s have just turned to face me directly and repeated what they have said in a normal way.

I would just move onto another AuD in the clinic, forget the other AuD and her weird behavior. If the new AuD asks tell them why, your a person and don’t require to be spoken to like your a computer robot.

Edited

@user184 I have encountered this situation on numerous occasions: when people learn that I have a hearing impairment, they often respond by speaking in an exaggerated volume and cadence. Comically so. It happens in the medical system especially.

My hearing loss looks pretty bad on paper. It is. However, I still don’t need people to speak to me that way. Ironically, it’s a common misperception that speaking louder will help me understand them. It actually makes it more difficult to understand them because the loud vowels start masking the other, softer parts of speech.

Here are my two cents: The other person is doing that because they care, usually. They can’t read my mind. They’ve probably worked with people that have better hearing than I do but a much harder time understanding what people are saying. They might have been trained to do this in school or assume that it’s helpful. Sometimes I train the person to speak in their usual way by doing so myself. That doesn’t always work.

I like to communicate “hey, I know you are meaning to be helpful, but you really don’t need to speak any louder than you normally do and its easier for me to understand you if you enunciate in the same way you do with your colleagues or friends that don’t have a hearing loss.” I might mention that I read lips so seeing their face is helpful to me and all I need. That little bit of communication goes a long way and makes for better relationships of all kinds. If they can’t handle that, its on them.

There are Audiolgists that know better. So you are within your right to find someone with the experience to know better.

Personally I’d just ask her to speak in her “normal” voice to you, tell her the way she’s speaking makes you feel uncomfortable. Often because I have no eyesight, people will look at the person guiding me and speak directly to them. I can always tell because the line of their voice travels from them to my guide, if that makes any sense, and not to me. I just call them out on it. 1 of 2 things will happen. Either they are very uncomfortable for a moment, will then apologise and then talk to me directly, or they are very uncomfortable for a moment and continue talking to my guide. If that happens, I simply walk away from them wherever possible :slight_smile: I don’t like being treated like that especially when I’ve tried to point out that it’s making me uncomfortable. Look at it this way if you don’t tell her, she’ll never know and she might actually be doing this to many other people without thinking it through. You might end up helping others in your situation.

Say your concerns and speak up for yourself. My Audi by the way has never worn a mask. I am very outspoken about not understanding a damn thing that someone says when they insist on wearing a mask.

Don’t overthink it. Either let the audiologist know you’d like them to speak in a normal voice or choose another audiologist. We all have our ways of doing things. The audiologist has likely learned that they have to repeat things a lot less often if they speak that way. It’s automatic for them. They are not doing it to insult you.

My audiologist never speaks to me like that. I wish she would.
I have profound lost. It would make conversing between us much nicer.
:grimacing:

Edited

I doubt the audiologist was trying to be condescending, but I can certainly see how it can come off as such when someone seems to be exaggerating how much of a problem he/she thinks you have. This has happened to me, and the patient simply said “you don’t need to raise your voice”, I said “thank you for letting me know”, and we carried on as usual. Obviously he was benefitting from his hearing aids more than I thought! I can almost guarantee you that if you bring it up with the audiologist she will be more embarrassed rather than offended, and she will adjust.

My primary physician speaks VERY rapidly. He’s a nice guy and I like him a lot. I always have to ask him, right off, to slow down his speech for me. He understands immediately and apologizes. Last time he was wearing a mask and offered right away to discard it, which he did when I said ‘yes, please’. Whenever I don’t understand what he’s said, I always ask for a repeat. It’s a bit of a challenge, probably for both of us, but we work it out!

I appreciate the feedback everyone. I will be sure to mention it next time instead of keeping quiet and getting resentful. I bet she will adjust accordingly, but if not of course I will just see someone else.

I know the feeling, I do feel the louder speaking doesn’t help, because then you can’t read the lips if you do lip reading, the vowels become exaggerated. I’ve had someone do sign language to me and I’ve said “wow amazing, what does it mean” and they responded very surprised and said “oh you can talk” :joy:….well yes of course I can, I don’t have a deaf accent either and speak very well, so never had to learn sign language :joy:. Sometimes you have to laugh it off or just say politely to not shout too loud

In reply to @mystuart

You would think so.
But, no. Most doctors here have heavy accents that really make understanding speech truly difficult.
Some refuse to remove their masks when I explain about my hearing loss. Those are the doctors I just walk out on.

Incredibly lucky with my current National Health audiologist. Beyond taking careful measurements she welcomes insight into my personal hearing needs. As a result I hear conversation and music really well, despite the fairly antique instruments we get unless we pay to go private.
As for personalities… some years ago a senior male audio got irritable when I so much as mentioned ‘decibel’ or ‘multi band compression’. Natural jargon to me as a pro sound recordist and I would have thought there was plenty of technical overlap.
Never mind, happy ending!

Just seeing this, and feel obligated to respond to the original post, even after skimming the rest.
User184 - if the way she speaks to you, bothers you, I think you should sit down, and truly ponder WHY you CHOOSE to be bothered by someone who is working hard, extra hard, in order to be sure that you can understand her. Why don’t you instead choose to appreciate her? Is your own ego, so fragile that you choose to criticize instead of complimenting her for attempting. If you did that, both of you would feel better, but instead you are choosing to cast a negative pale on the whole encounter.

My uncle was a radio broadcaster and he used to yell at me, when I mumbled. Articulate! Enunciate! Project! he would yell at me, when I slurred or did not speak clearly.

Often I am furious with service persons who are inept at speaking both in person and on the phone. If a person does not care enough to make sure I can hear, then he cannot be said to care about me - that is NOT service!

When I call service or billing like the phone or utility companies, after being kept on hold - forced to enduce deafening cacaphony of garbage music defined by me as noise, and finally we are supposed to be communicating, and I lead off by explaining I have very poor hearing, please speak slow and clearly, 95% of the time, it has zero affect. The person has obviously become a victim of brain damage and is unable to transcend their mindless habituated response!
I can request again to S P E A K S L O W R
and they will just keep repeating themeselves at the same speed.

Those are the people that should frustrate you. But a person who either CARES, or has BEEN TRAINED TO speak slowly and clearly - and that upsets you???!???!?

How about this… it probably is unlikely that you will get an infection from just a few germs, so next time the nurse or doctor makes the effort to don gloves, or a mask, or use sterilization solution… tell them just to skip it! That it makes you feel inadequate that they are suggesting your immune system is not good enough!

Edited
@IGZO said:

if the way she speaks to you, bothers you, I think you should sit down, and truly ponder WHY you CHOOSE to be bothered by someone who is working hard, extra hard, in order to be sure that you can understand her.

Because our ability to understand others is a reflection of how capable we are. And how capable we are is a big part of how attractive we are in the eyes of other people.

It’s a big part of why so many people with hearing loss don’t wear hearing aids. Wearing hearing aids is a visible acknowledgment that you are less capable than others, which makes you vulnerable to the judgment and discrimination of other people. The entire hearing aid industry makes hearing aids as small as possible to help minimize this problem.

I don’t agree with your take, but I appreciate you writing it. It’s given me a lot to think about.

@user184 said:

These communication strategies that would be appropriate for someone with profound deafness left me feeling humiliated and depressed.

Ah, it’s NUTHIN’!!! It’s a function of your audi’s training (to be VERY clear and communicate in optimum fashion), experience with patients (and their own shyness about asking for clarification) and the fact that your audi doesn’t know you very well.

Relationships with audis take TIME and (at least for me) multiple visits where you actually need myriad things done. If that profile isn’t you, then you’ll fall in the category of what the audi is most familiar with.

Simple resolution: just tell the audi you’re comfy with LESS enunciation - make a light joke of it. My audi of 3 yrs ago was also SUPER clear with communication with me on my very first visit (well, look at my !) but then at that visit, even she declared surprise when I’d respond rapid-fire to all questions. It’s like my hearing (with aids IN) lets me hear as good as any of her peers.

So from that visit onwards, we have a delightful visit every single time. We both know I am completely and utterly deaf as a cinderblock with aids out, so if she slips out a sentence when my aids aren’t in, we both have a good laugh and then she’ll hold up a finger or write a short note on a Post-It.

Don’t be shy about letting your audi know your LACK of limitations. They are only human, and strive to make the best of the relationship. Do not feel diminished or condescended to. I hope you can find an audi you’re comfortable with, and if your communication styles or personalities DON’T work with this audi (yes, I’ve experienced that too!), MOVE ON.

In reply to @user184

I am extremely competent.
Have many skills, some talents.
In a group, I often stand out for some positive quality, and that includes, sense of humor, communication, perception, attention to detail, mechanical skill, dexterity, experience, knowledge, insight, originality… OK enough about me… but I am not basketball player height, I cannot sing soprano ( but I am a guy ), and I am not a fast runner. Also - due to years of work around loud noise, as well as having parents with some hearing loss, my hearing is very poor - seriously bad!

SO? Someone have a problem with that?!?

User1 - look up Stephen Hawking or countless others with serious physical limitations.
Be happy for all the many reasons you are blessed, including that sometimes, those who cross your path try to be helpful to the best of their ability and understanding.

I have said all I plan to on this… and am not expecting a reply.

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