Music composer/producer (DIY self fitting - Widex 440) - fitting and general HA dilemma

I considered other sub forums for this post, and might still cross post if anyone thinks that would be a better fit. However, enough of my story lands in the DIY area (and ultimately will affect that), and posting elsewhere, I can immediately hear the “have your audiologist do this or that” or “don’t program HAs yourself” comments. So, fellow DIY-ers, here I am.

Some foundational stuff: I own a recording production studio, write music and songs (in a few genres) for TV networks and private clients, and am a musician (drums and keyboards). I’ve been doing this for 45+years. In that time, especially as a younger buck, I lost a fair bit of hearing in my left ear (i believe it was the on stage monitors, but who knows?), but was doing “fine” (no client or colleague complaints about mixes and my work or conversation in all these years), working on music projects and understanding speech, albeit with more recent additions of closed captioning on the tv, and having my wife sit on my right whenever possible. I had been taking care of my hearing in recent years, but I definitely wasn’t walking around with a recent audiogram in my pocket, and didn’t really have a sense of my baseline to know where my hearing was at. I really wasn’t even aware of my hearing in any big way, until I woke up with sudden hearing loss in my “good” right ear 6 months ago. Thus began a traumatic and emotional journey that continues to this day.

Fast forward to now, about 4 months into hearing aids, and a few disappointing audiologist/Hearing aid fitter visits, and I found this site and the DIY group. Thank you for being here.

I have widex moment sheer 440s, and have found them to be frustrating so far, although I’m sure that would be true regardless of the brand. (I also have a pair of Phonak Lumity 90s that I have not explored at all). With my online Ha fitter and seller, I have done accurate sensogram (in-situ) hearing tests, which overrides the audiogram to provide prescription gain, and trialed several domes to find the best starting point for me. I know my way around the compass software, and have an excellent resource in my online fitter who’s happy to spend our time helping me navigate the software. However, to be fair, I haven’t done much in the fine tuning at all - still unsure what program should provide the basis for my tuning, and knowing/hearing that a general period of brain adaptation has to lay the foundation for any decision making, or so I’m told, before making big changes. My tweaking has been thus: adding a program I can tweak for music needs (NOT and NEVER streaming, because there’s no point with more open domes, which I prefer), and adding other programs I can create for sitting with my wife, or watching TV. Widex allows for only 5 in total, so it can get tough to decide what to try and not try and build on

I have not liked anything so far for working on music (listening to my studio monitors) because the compression messes with what I’m hearing, and any program other than Widex’s zero delay “Pure Sound” introduces latency between my natural and aided hearing. Also, the hearing aids seem to also amplify a feeling of fullness I have (which is a staple and almost universal symptom of sudden hearing loss) and this fullness or plugged feeling also affects the highest frequencies until I unclog my ears (plug nose and swallow), so wearing them introduces this constant unclogging process to get those highs back until I swallow or yawn, and it’s clogged again. SO, for my work life, as long as I’m working alone, I use something called Sound ID Reference, which is a system wide eq, which I setup to compensate in a similar curve (reversed) to my hearing loss, especially my R ear, because 6 months ago I was very used to that and working well. the clogged feeling is minimal. I keep my monitoring levels in the mid 70db area, and so far, I’ve delivered mixes that other music pros that know me and clients hearing no difference from my prior work. So, that seems to be the direction to take, at least for working - in a sense turning my studio monitors/speakers into giant hearing aids, similarly amplifying what I don’t have, IN those speakers. So, problem solved? in a way yes, until I have a client in the room with me, listening with me to our work with a huge boost in the highs. So, back to hearing aids I guess, in those situations, or explain my hearing loss to them, and perhaps immediately losing their confidence in my hearing. Except that those situations are rare (I usually work alone), so every-time that happens and a client comes in, my hearing aids are new to me again, and I would think they would feel foreign all over again. it is true that I don’t have to mix or write my own music with a client present, and I usually only need them for their vocals, or to record their parts for a few hours, or a hired guitar player to record etc, so it might not be that big a deal, but I’m concerned about it (since music sounds so foreign through HAs), as well as adding another instance of not wearing my hearing aids, which I’ll expound upon now.

My morning routine is: I get up, eat a light breakfast with coffee, chat with my wife, and do some writing in a journal, or have some quiet time (I’ve needed this for processing what has happened to me) all without hearing aids in, and with minimal effort (especially in conversation), that works. Seems like otherwise I’d put the HAs in for 30 minutes, and then take them out because after that I’m doing interval training on the bike, or stairs at the gym, or doing hot yoga, and if I listen to music, the earpods pro sound fantastic (like I have no hearing loss - and the widex with more open domes sound terrible), and if I listen to the streamed yoga class, my computer speakers also have system wide eq and the small speakers mean I can hear them just fine. Small speakers in general, iphone on speaker, facetime, the laptop speakers, all sit in a frequency range that’s easy to understand. however, with HAs in, hearing the iphone speaker and laptop speaker is brittle and hurts, at least at default prescription settings, as does the dog barking while playing with the other dog, my wife’s voice, and lots of the everyday background sounds that otherwise don’t bother me. Plus I sweat a LOT. So I don’t wear them for am exercise and yoga. I can’t wear them for showering of course, and then I’m down to the recording studio where I go to work, to again, NOT wear them.

This all concerns me, because I also read and have heard that it’s vital to wear them all day to get the brain used to them and to train the brain. I counter that with these eq settings I’m doing the same thing, but I don’t KNOW that for certain. And if I do wear them, work becomes more difficult rather than easier, because of what hearing aids do to music.

So herein lies the dilemma. When music work is done, and I come back upstairs from the studio, and want to do yard work (for example,) I could wear them then, to hear the rake, shovel or the lawnmower better, or outsides sounds like birds and wind, which I love. And I would do that if it didn’t seem like some of the list above also requires hearing protection, not amplification. But that would be the decision. Also, If I go fishing (saltwater) I don’t think it would be wise to wear them, and I can hear and chat with my fishing buddy anyway, with very minimal difficulty. BUT, I would wear them, if advised to do so, and at the risk of eventual saltwater damage, if I’m losing opportunities by not wearing them.

When my wife comes home from work, 5pm ish, is when I really wish I could (and would) wear them without question. My ears are tired (I’m hoping this gets better in time), and my ability to hear and understand her has diminished. At that time, I often put them in for the first time in the day, and as we mill about the kitchen and prep dinner; bowls, trays and spoons, a spoon knocking against the dog bowls to knock off the food still on the the spoon, excited-we’re-home dogs playing with squeaky toys and barking at each other, chip bags, freezer bags - ALL of that greets my now aided hearing, which as I know all of you know, is a challenge. This is the area I know I need to wear them, and getting there is proving tough. The other night I went to home depot (we’re building a deck in the back yard) and understanding the guy at the counter was impossible with the background noise. I actually cried in the truck. in SO many ways it’s easier not to wear them, a large portion of the time. “But, if you don’t wear them, you’ll develop dementia or prevent future hearing recognition,” is what I hear in my head.

So it’s complicated, or I’m making it so. I intentionally booked June off (with the exception of the deck) to work on how I’m going to move forward. I have a PC with noahlink wireless. I can take it anywhere. My plan is to prioritize a program that works with my wife, in the kitchen situation with background noise, and watching TV, playing backgammon etc, to get that in place as a baseline, and perhaps also create a program that’s “acceptable enough” for music work for when I have clients here in the room with me for short periods. Perhaps I’ll still tweak something up that works ALL the time as an option for working on music even while alone, but I don’t hold out much hope give the success (and experience) so far of the system wide EQ I’ve been using. I know that’s a common choice for others like me

LONG post, and again, I hope this was the right place to post it. I know it’s (I’m) complicated.

What I’m really asking here, has anyone else here had a similar experience, and if yes, how did you navigate all of this? Failing that, does anyone have any advice or ideas in general to either validate or suggestions of alternative strategies I might want to consider? I don’t have an audiologist as a DIY-er, so not even sure how to find out if I’m helping or hurting my situation.

thank you, for reading and taking the time to offer suggestions.

I am not a hearing professional, so this is just a long time wearer talking. You are in a tough spot. Sounds like you are also in that difficult emotional phase of acknowledging your hearing loss and processing what that means after of life of relying on your hearing for work and pleasure. We all, in general, get that part in a real way. It is a true loss to grieve - more so for musicians. All that said, it is gone - nothing will return it to you - so you are on the way to accepting that and dealing the best you can with your new normal. One way I view my HAs is that others around me have to “accommodate” my loss by repeating themselves, getting closer rather than calling from the other room, etc. It’s annoying as hell for them. The best I can do to meet them in the middle is to wear my HAs as much as possible. Even if it means a frequent in and out annoyance. It takes a long time - months even - to relearn hearing with HAs, so if you don’t wear them, they are new each time you put them in and the dog and the background noises will bother you each time rather than becoming your new normal. So, maybe put them in as soon as you get up so it’s easier on your wife and you are showing an effort. Even for 30 minutes! You should check with a professional, but current HAs are quite moisture resistant. Not sure I would worry as much about the exercise, but do check on that and use your dryer. As for input, it could be that listening via the pods if the sound is better is still a good thing. Some have suggested using HAs and putting in foam earplugs to trap the sound results in better quality. The important thing is to be having sound input to keep things in practice. It’s those who sit around by themselves in silence who lose more because there is no stimulation coming in. You listed so many reasons to NOT wear them - yard work, sweating, salt water… Just put them in and forget it as much as you can. You have the option of lowing the volume if something irritates you, but at least you are getting used to the new input you’ve been missing for many years. If you need other accommodations when working with music, so be it, but unless that is for 8 hours a day, you should be able to get a good many hours of practice with them if you remove the reasons to not wear them. It sucks - just does - but it is our life now. My brother is a musician and I have had this same convo with him over years and he still rarely wears them, and it annoys the heck out of his family members.

On another note, my left ear tanked a couple years ago, so in December I got a cochlear implant. Talk about new and different input. Music is rougher, but speech is much better. I am focusing on managing with different sound input and not looking for the unobtainable perfect. You don’t say your age, but some things do have to change as we age, and it is a gift that we get to live another day…even with hearing loss.

Good luck with all. This is a helpful forum, so you are in the right place.

@user172 the 1st thing that strikes me, is you’ve only had remote programming sessions?
You need an in-person fitting b4 doing remote sessions, in order to get a good baseline General Program, and at least 2 Music Programs set up by a trained AuD.
I’d recommend this site14 as a starting point for your journey.
We have many people on this forum with the same background as you, and would be happy to share insights.
Just use the search tool at the top right of the page and query programing for musicians.
Here’s another resource6 on the web.
Don’t wish to overwhelm you, but this was just posted on 5/17, and I commented below about Marshall Chasin, who is referred to, in the 1st link I posted, and is considered the #1 AuD for Music!
That gives you plenty of fodder to mull over going forward.